The Virus Diary – Month 23 Infection

For almost two years you live in the fear of it. At first is the fear of the unknown. Then the fear of what you know. After that the fear of being tired of it until the realisation of the inevitable comes. No matter how many vaccines you get or how much time passes we will most likely all end up getting it before it fades away.

Acceptance

I was starting to accept it and after two vaccines felt more confident with my history of two cases of pneumonia in the past 10 years that I will be OK if I get it. Well now we are in the situation that I am about to find out as I got a positive result the other day. I am in quarantine voluntarily now as the tracking and official stuff are running way too behind here in Finland with all the new cases during Xmas holidays. Funny thing is that I did not even go anywhere and have worn a mask all the time so only goes to show how insidious this variant seems to be.

At first I felt just tired, then my muscles started aching from everywhere, last was the pounding headache. First I thought it was my period starting because those sometimes bring a pounding headache and lower back pain. This was though a bit different than before and generally lower back pain has not been on my monthly agenda so knew something was off.

Luckily I had home tests available and result was 15 mins away so managed to isolate myself as fast as I think was possible in this case. Now it’s just a waiting game for the others in the house…

Mutual understanding

At first, as a practical person, you take care of the things that you have to meaning try to save everyone else and isolate, disinfect, organise food delivery, cancel work shifts… do we even have panadol in the house? Then you sleep, sleep and sleep. I slept the evening, the night and until 2 pm the next day pretty much whole time. I even admit thinking when sleeping that I like this virus. It let’s me sleep without anything disturbing and I am not having too many dreams either. (I tend to dream so much that I can’t sleep from them as funny as it sounds…).

So after the first shock me and ”The Virus” found a mutual understanding. It needs to do it’s thing in my body and my body with a little help and guidance from the vaccines needs to it’s thing to the it. I did make it clear to ”The Virus” that I will be winning no matter what, but in return it can continue rolling in the world in a bit milder form that is not hurting so many people. Let’s see if it listened to me… 😉

Waiting game

So after the first few days I am feeling OK. It is in me and I am waiting for it’s next move. I did have a little bit of temperature last night, but I sweat that away during the night. Have been awake now the whole day and am finally feeling tired. Headache has passed, just tired and maybe a bit of cough? Well see. It’s a waiting game what happens now and if anyone else gets symptoms.

What I don’t want is months and months of quarantines as there are so many of us in the family, but what can you do you but to wait. Wait for it to evolve inside of you, wait to see if it finds a new victim around in the house or not. Wait for the time when it’s all gone, for good. In my case that will be in approx 9th of January!

Continue Reading

The Virus Diary – Month 18 Healing process

Bottom of the wave

There is beauty in the nature

It has been interesting to follow your mind and how it works in situations like this. First you convince yourself that nothing’s changed ,everything is just fine because you have to. It’s a way of surviving, it’s a way of managing the situation. The truth is that it’s not fine everything is upside down nothing is the way it used to be and it scares you.

They say that the healing process of sorrow or sudden grief works in waves. First you’re at the bottom then you rise to the top only to reach the bottom of the wave again later. This goes on until the tsunami reaches the shore or the storm comes down. No matter how far from the epicentre you are there is still waves they are just not that high. Meaning in time the lows are not that low anymore and they don’t come that frequently.

That is exactly how I feel right now. I wasn’t really consciously aware of it earlier, but yes I am going through a healing process, healing from a traumatic experience in a way. It wasn’t only the virus it was also the whole experience of climbing Kilimanjaro and the injury caused by it that prevented me from doing what I love for a very very long time (and probably in some sense permanently) meaning exercising and running.

It was a lot of things that caused the tsunami and my bottom of the wave.

Twisting mind

Mind is a funny thing. It twists things around to suit whatever the situation is. If you are in a panic mode all you need to do is survive and that is what you do you survive. Then when things calm down a little bit you get more strength to concentrate on other things than just the survival. And finally you find a way to look at everything from above and evaluate what has happened.

I can honestly say that last year was crap. Full of crap. The whole year was a disaster, the whole year was just bad thing one after another. Forcing you to live on the edge constantly struggling to maintain your freaking sanity.

I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one thinking this way, that I’m not the only one who has fought and struggled last year. I know my struggles are minor to what other people have experienced so I should not be complaining, but for me it was the hardest year of my life and I’m not lying. Looking back I have no idea how I survived and how I’m even somewhat sane right now.

Healing process

But getting back to the healing process. I have noticed lately that I’m thinking a bit more positively about the future. I have seen my friends, I have seen my colleagues, most of all I’m not constantly afraid, afraid if I will get the virus and how it will affect me. Will I get the bad variation and even if I get the mild variation will it have effects that last the rest of my life?

On the lake at our summer cottage

So I’m happy I have had the first dose of the vaccine, because at least now I feel more at peace, that I have done what I can to prevent the serious version of the virus. I know the battle is not over yet. The virus will stay with us forever, we just need to find a way to live with it. From mental perspective though, the shock and disruption caused by this lives with the people who experienced it forever. It has changed all of our lives undeniably forever in one way or another.

I know there is still a long way to go even for me in the healing process of this, but I think I’m on my way, I think the world is on its way. I think we’re finding some lost joy again off the way things used to be. Simple things, small things, like singing together. Such a simple thing that was denied from us and it almost tore my heart apart.

You need to survive so you just convince yourself I can do this. I can do this no worries super easy, I just won’t sing for a while that’s good, that’s fine. The truth is at some point enough is enough. If it’s a part of you that is really hard to deny from yourself. In the end you stopped thinking about it, stopped missing it and found other ways to replace that void. Now I sing less and less all the time. My vocal chords need some serious training after the holiday season I know! This is just an example of what we have been forced to deny, or cease to do, or have not done because we want to protect everyone else, our loved ones and yes sometimes ourselves too.

Protect everyone

Image from one of my past years roles ”police officer in blue” from a Finnish police series called Roba

I have done all the precautions I can for the past year and a half because I don’t, or past tense I didn’t want anybody’s life to be on my conscience. So I have worn a mask, I have kept my distance, I have worked from home and I have hardly met anyone outside ad/tv/movie productions which I count kind of as work and impossible to do remotely. On the other hand the hygiene has been impeccable in the productions I have worked so huge thanks to everyone the cast and crew for that.

So I hope it has helped. I have to think it has. I have to think that what I have done has made a difference because otherwise all the sacrifices that I’ve have done during this one and a half years would have been for nothing. So when you think should I take the vaccine, just know that there are a lot of people in the world doing everything they can to help you out so you would not get the serious version. The least you can do is help a little back and do the same if you can so we can at some point get back to somewhat normal.

While waiting for that I hope you have managed to keep a bit of holiday this summer and relax. Mine just ended, but I think I need some more 🙂

Continue Reading

The Virus Diary – Month 11 – Second wave

”As of 22 November there have been over 57.8 million cases and 1.3 million deaths reported globally since the start of the pandemic”

Source: WHO weekly report

And now 5th of January 2021 there has been 84,2 million cases and 1,8 million deaths (source WHO)

The amount sounds huge and is huge. I stopped thinking in days a while ago and so has WHO and everyone else. Let’s talk about months. How many more months? We had a nice summer break and everything was ”almost normal”. Then schools started and slowly the cases have been rising also here in Finland. Officially the southern part hit the ”third” phase, where the we are not able to track all the infections again. New restriction were put in place. All government public places are closed and private sector places suggestion is to do the same. No functions more than 10 people and if possible avoid even those.

So do not meet anyone, go anywhere or do anything. Simple huh?

Nowadays I feel like I live with headphones on all the time during the day…

It sounds easy when you put it like that, but being an extrovert like me (well at least most of the times… I got my ”I don’t want to see anyone” – moments too and that is what the forest is for) it’s hard having been working at home for 11 months and not really going anywhere or seeing anyone. They say live in the moment. Well this particular moment (or year 2020) I could skip as this seems to last forever. Then again it seems like it never happened which is strange.

The concept of time has definitely been different past year. It’s funny how you get used to certain things and expect them to happen in the same sequence, but disruption (like covid-19) puts everything in different perspective. It’s been hard to put things in line, side by side or right in front of you. Nothing is like it seems. Nothing happens like it used to. Nothing is predictable. Life is a continuous change.

I’m usually really good with change, but I have struggled to keep up with all of this. Schedules for kids change. Distance learning, summer holiday, not distance learning, autumn holiday. Shorter day, longer day. Distance learning, not distance learning. Oops we changed it again. Sorry, did we forget to tell you? With four kids and three different schools and four different grades, they are all treated a bit different and messages from teachers keep coming and you try to keep up, but this is not working.

In all honesty. Great try, but this will not work on permanent basis. Keep it simple and let’s get back to normal!

Yet I and probably many others have found some sort of peace or calmness with all this. I have noticed that when you need to spend so much time online it’s easier to have some sort of headphones on all day to catch phone calls and join meetings. I have learned to master remote technology and take full use of this flexible working our company offers which is a great benefit itself!

Here in Finland also the restrictions are not as bad as elsewhere. We do have them and they unfortunately have hit some industries more than others. It’s not ideal and a lot of people have lost their jobs, income or a loved one, but we have managed to keep this thing under control relatively well they say. We have not been forced to go into complete lockdown and wearing a mask is now normal. You don’t really see people without one anymore which is great and no doubt has helped in stopping the virus spreading into uncontrolled chaos. So I am happy to wear the mask a few more months if that helps. Let’s hope it does!

New year, vaccination, new beginning?

Now that the year changed, did we manage to dodge the worst of the second wave? Not sure yet. It did look really good just before Christmas, but now schools will start again in a few days and people will come back from their holiday destinations (Lapland seems to have been a more popular destination than normal for Finns) and we will know for sure where we are headed.

They have started vaccinating here in Finland too, only the hospital personnel so far but apparently the vaccinations are not progressing as quickly as some would hope. I am happy to wait for mine, wear the mask and avoid people a few more months knowing there may be an end to this.

Restrictions will continue here in Finland at least until the end of January 2021, but let’s see what happens after that. They opened a covid-19 drive/walk-through test station next door to my house a few months ago and working from home I have had live feed on how the pandemic is progressing. The higher the amount of infections the longer the queue to the tests seems to correlate. Now in past days the queue has been moderate so I am slightly hopeful.

What after all this?

So we have found some sort of equilibrium with the virus now and pretty sure some habits will stick long after it’s gone, but what will be the first changes? Will we be able to keep music festivals? Go to movie theaters and opera? We got tickets to opera as a present a while ago which have been unused, we got a bunch of movie tickets unused and I would surely love to go to a concert or sing in one myself for that matter. What about flying? I’m sure flying will change and masks may be a permanent thing when travelling, but will travelling in general ever be the same? Can we trust to travel overseas as freely as we did? I do miss seeing other places as much as I love Finland and the nature here. Mostly I miss mountains and views from high above. I miss the versatile nature.

What I miss the most though is seeing family, friends and give everyone HUGS. Truly hope we can get those back soon <3 Everything else can wait <3

Stay strong, safe and healthy everyone. We are so much closer to the end of this now than a year ago! (hahaha)

(And I’m kinda hoping there won’t be too many posts to my virus diary anymore 😉 )

Continue Reading

Kilimanjaro day 10/10 – Last day and recap

It’s been now +6 months since we climbed Kilimanjaro. I thought it would be a good time to finish the series and walk a bit on the memory lane and look back on what happened and what thoughts have come to my mind since.

The reality is that our journey as awesome and great as it was ended up being a bit in the shadows of the covid-19 news. We have regularly met with Ubuntu team on virtual Friday coffee and all felt like we did not want to talk about it too much as there was so many more serious things going on in the world. We all felt like we missed the ”wow we did it” kind of celebration with everyone and even ourselves as the corona virus shadow was cast above Europe. It is understandable because everyone’s thoughts were focused on something else. Our journey mostly lived in our minds and at least I did not have a chance to share my story with any or my friends because we were almost instantly after getting back advised to work from home already and then went finally to partial lock down.

But let’s get back to the last day in Tanzania and our last day. Like mentioned in my earlier post of the Kilimanjaro series I have not been that exhausted many times in my life. Maybe once when we were in a floor ball tournament when I was about 20 years and we lost all other women from the team to injuries and since there had to be at least one woman all the time on the field I ended up playing three games in a row without any breaks. Then, I was probably even more tired. Anyway slept like a log after a good meal and a few glasses of wine in this super comfy soft bed which did not slowly slide downhill all the time and woke up on time for breakfast and surprise, surprise, I was starving again and we took our time to eat.

Time to head home

In the city. Toyota seemed to be the king of the roads 😀

Our planes would not leave until late in the evening so the plan was to soak up on the sun and at some point head to the city for lunch and souvenirs. It was also so relieving to be able to talk and send messages to children and hubby. We also found out from the news that situation in Italy had just escalated and they were getting more and more cases. It was getting out of hands everywhere and by the looks of it there was no stopping it anymore. It was just a matter of time when it would hit our far North end of the world so better get accustomed to it.

We had lunch in a restaurant in town and went to this little souvenir shop and suddenly the day was over and it was time to head to the airport. The journey back went well and thinking back on the airport the staff was wearing masks already. It was hard for everyone to depart at Schipol airport, but equally we were all keen to get home. There was a lot of emotions given the situation in the world, what we had just achieved together and knowing that the journey had now come to an end. We agreed that we should get together in Spain and do a hike or two together later in the spring. That obviously never happened and may not happen for a while We keep meeting in skype every Friday for a virtual catch-up, but with so many virtual meetings I haven’t been able to make it on a weekly basis. When I do have time to make it it is so good to see everyone’s faces and debrief a bit how everyone is, what the situation is everywhere in the world and share memories of the journey.

The unknown

Finally my home airport <3

I had no idea what to expect when I landed to Finland. The world is so different out there in Africa and not just the weather, but people, lifestyle, mentality. I remember the weather being gray and wet (still no snow!) and everything looking dull without any colours and trees bare of leaves. I felt weird, like it was a dream and not real what had happened. Did I really go there? Had I really been 4700 meters above sea level on top of Africa? Chores and work was waiting and I didn’t really have time to think about that much of the experience. I had bad conscience of being away from the kids for that long. I had never been away for that long and it was so good to see them.

When you are out there in 4700 meters with no civilization in sight and no connection to the outside world it’s both relieving and stressing. You can forget about what is happening because you know you won’t have a chance to find out anyway. Then again you worry is everything ok? What if it’s not and they cannot tell me? You know with kids anything can happen… It is a strange feeling and a balance between knowing and not knowing. I have to admit I like both.

So what was the world like?

What had happened in 10 days? Covid-19 virus has gotten out of hands in Europe and we knew we need to prepare for it. How? Nobody really knew, it was unknown territory to most countries. I only managed to go to work for a week or so after we were advised to work from home if possible and I have ever since. It’s been now +6 months. Our journey was not the big news, everyone was concentrating on the virus and its spreading. I noticed that I kept silent, but honestly I felt like I wanted to shout to the world that ”You know what? I just climbed Kilimanjaro, I did it! Me, I did it! Can you believe it?”. I was so proud of myself, but realised nobody else knew what I had done except me. It really mattered only to me.

After math

I keep coming back to that thought. It mattered to me, but I kept putting it aside. It’s not a big thing, but IT IS! It’s a huge thing and all the work and effort I put to fundraising and getting myself in shape is massive. I worked so hard that I almost got blindsided by everything else going on around. I was so focused on my goal that when it was over I left a bit empty. I remember pondering is there ”Life after Kilimanjaro?” in one of my previous posts. Well now I know there is, but there is also emptiness. It did change my life, but only I know that and it’s hard to explain how yet.

I also keep coming back to the consequences it had on my health. I keep looking at the stats and realise it was such a strain on my body. No matter what way you look at it, all went up the roof, heart rate, rest heart rate, steps, ascent, descent and quality of sleep. Not to mention I have not been able to run for 6 months properly so ended up getting IT band inflammation on my left knee after Kilimanjaro most probably (thinking back) was caused by that 23+ kilometers downhill on one day. Now almost 7 months since we left to Kili and and I am still on the mend. I am able to do some short runs but anything above 5 kilometers is a risk zone.

So was it worth it? I am not sure. I am still not sure if I would I do it again if I knew what it might cause. Maybe, but would change coming down to take more weight on the right leg… (I kept stepping left foot down hill first all the time and remember it hurt a bit at some point so tried changing to right but it was probably too late by that time already). Then again it is a strain injury so it might have had nothing to do with Kili or I might have gotten it anyway regardless of Kili.

So this is what I am struggling with in my mind and sudden covid-19 ”lock down-homework-cooking-gym-daycare-school-teacher-office worker” mother extravaganza did not make it any better I can tell you. Life goes on, even without running so I have had to learn to live without it and find other hobbies and ways to get my mind to unwind.

And really… No I would not change it. Not really <3


Want to read about getting ready to climb Kili

Go to –> Three peak Challenge 2019

Want to read the whole series?

Go to –> Kilimanjaro Challenge 2020

Continue Reading

The Virus Day 116 – Restrictions lifted slowly

Primary schools and kindergartens opened up again this week here in Finland. In a way it’s an end to a certain era of the fight against Covid-19. I doubt we will need to have this drastic measures again, but you never know. It has helped a little with the concentration now that there is less hassle at the house during the day. I suppose next week I will finally know the real effect of working home alone. I don’t really remember how it felt even because it feels it’s been such a long time with full house.

They will also start opening up other places slowly in the beginning of June like restaurants and the group size restrictions is increased from 10 to 50 people. Still for example many offices will stay closed, ours included, and restaurants are definitely not going to be fully operational yet, nor any other venues or shops.

Closures and empty space

After a few months I visited a shopping centre a few days ago and it was a bit eerie feeling with so many shops either closed temporarily or permanently. Quite a few had closing down sales which makes you wonder what there will be left after a few weeks? Even if there is something left, will anyone have money to spend anymore? How vulnerable our society is and how dependent on everyone spending money. We have built it around materialism maintaining the standard of living . Now that we are home we don’t buy anything ”on the way somewhere” or ”passing by”. I am actually hoping that this will be the end of the materialism in the world in a way and have noticed that I am thinking more consciously about what I put my money into, do I really need it and have found a lot of things you can actually do without!

I am worried, like everyone is, about the future. How all this will affect us and how long will it take before we recover from this. Then again good things may happen. We travel less overseas and even to work so it must have a positive impact on the air quality and climate. Maybe more people will continue working from home and travel less in general and pollution will go down. Then again is that enough to make a real impact on the climate crisis? I for one have changed my thinking. I have no desire to travel overseas currently and even when it is possible it may take a while before I would consider doing it.

I don’t think people will stay put and never travel again, but I do think that they will travel less far and travel more domestic and shorter distances. People will continue playing it safe for a while and the further to the unknown you go, the less sure you can be that you won’t get or spread ”The virus” so it makes sense not to rush around the world.

Home sweet home

Just being home has become more and more attractive. I do still miss certain things like the salad in restaurant Teatteri in Helsinki city centre where I used to go on my lunch break. I also notice thinking more and more about ”if I ever get to do that again”, so something has changed. This current ”normal” is so stuck in your head already that you start remembering what it used to be like and reminiscing the past and ”nice” things. Even petty things that you can definitely do without.

You find yourself thinking ”that actually it’s quite vain”… Really just going to a concert or restaurant to eat out. I mean you can do without those. Then again, you can do without a lot of things, but all these ”nice things”, consuming and seek of pleasure and ”good feeling/atmosphere” is what we live for. We humans just do that naturally and I don’t think we will ever stop seeking pleasing experiences and stop doing things that make us feel good.

But for now I have learned to like just being home and when we do get to go to a restaurant or a small concert again after all this time I will embrace those moments and support the people who do them. They do make life so much more pleasurable and fun!

What I will though continue doing is evaluating everything material that I buy with the following criteria;

  • Do I really need this?
  • Can I live without this?
  • Is this a good quality product that won’t break in first use?
  • Is there a more sustainable alternative?
  • Do I really need this :)?

So at least my mind set has changed . How has yours changed?


Continue Reading

Training – W16-19/2020 Absolute stand still

I haven’t been able to train at all for the past weeks. I was sure that ”listen to your body and let it heal” would work, but it dd not seem to do the trick. I took it really easy for a few weeks and then went for a short walk with my daughter to the forest after which my left leg was in pain again. So went to the doctor to get a diagnosis and surprise, surprise it was ”Runner’s knee” so exactly that inflammation of the IT band as I thought in my last training post from W15/2020. I was prescribed anti-inflammatory drugs (Again!! Got them in Jan 2020 too, not my favourite pills) to get rid of the inflammation and if that does not help then come back.

So ate the pills as prescribed. These also had side effects such as higher heart rate, higher blood pressure and really weird general feeling so took them only that minimum 7 days and now have not been taking them for four days. Not sure though if they helped, as out of the blue suddenly three days ago I got the same strange numb feeling on my left leg without ANY walking even, so I am puzzled.

On a 5 k slow picnic hike with my daughter
to test if I can walk / jog a few weeks ago

The doctor also mentioned there could be some other underlying issues like nerve entrapment, but the pain seemed to be exactly where it would be for the Runner’s knee issue. So have been doing loads of foam rolling and stretching as suggested and noticed that my glute muscles are actually pretty sore and not just my calves. Maybe it’s just a general ”whole leg nerve entrapment” and I am paying the price for not having stretched enough after training.

So again. My own fault probably.

But what can you do but try your best and hope that soon I will be able to go to the gym and hopefully start running slowly again. I could really use some advise if anyone has suffered of the IT band inflammation how long it took to get better and how slowly should you start training again and what gym exercises would be good?

Good news is that it seems to help. Foam rolling that is. I did go for a 9 k bike ride with my daughter yesterday and my leg did not hurt after it, but I did feel that I had done something so hoping that this was the first step to recovery finally.

BTW thanks to Covid-19 I have not been walking even to the metro and to office so my steps on average have been pathetic, not to speak of my amount of training. I was actually shocked to see how few steps I have been taking lately without the every day normal routines. I know that for some this situation has been the trigger for them to exercise and walk even more here in Finland ( we have been able to go out all the time). It is easy to notice this trend on the path next our front door, it’s more like highway nowadays! I am not one of them though and it’s getting on my nerves I can tell.

I truly hope that there won’t be yet another setback and I would be back to square one with my left leg again! Despite of everything I am feeling slightly more positive than a few days ago. I still think that healing shouldn’t be rushed, so trying to find a little more patience again for the week ahead from somewhere…

Training total for the past month

So to the exiciting part… drum rolls…. Training totals for the week… they would be so pathetic and non existent that this time I am adding monthly totals. Let’s call this the Corona month 🙂

  • 1 walk 2,5 kilometers
  • 1 circuit training 43 minutes
  • 1 hike 5 kilometers
  • 2 times cycling, one 3,25 kilometers and another 9 kilometers

Training plan

Now I understand that I need to start easy so my training plan must reflect that. If it looks like my leg is on the mend I will plan something around that thought. Good part is that gyms are open also so I will be able to go there also if needed for specific moves.

Happy training everyone,

Continue Reading

Training – W14/2020 More pain but still no gain

My leg was not still OK, so still no running. I do not want it to get worse and then I cannot run for months, so decided to not run the whole week but do a few easy online circuit training and maybe walk a bit. And hey might as well try to shed that extra 1,5 kilos I’ve been wanting to do to get to my goal weight for a while. So decided to go back to measuring what I eat since it’s much more easier to control the amounts and balance it out when you are not exercising that much. I noticed that when I lost 15 kilos! See My Weight loss journey series for more info on how I did it.

Ended up doing a few walks and a few circuit training during the week, but especially the last walk 8,9 kilometers was too much and my left leg got aggravated again and I was in pain. I had no choice but to decide on absolutely NO STRENUOUS TRAINING for a while. It is hard because I am so used to doing training. Then again in these kind of situations I tend to think this is my chance to do something else I have not had time to do… like playing the piano!

At least on my ”last walk” I got to climb on high hill and see a beautiful sunset between the trees! (See feature image above). That climbing may actually have been the cause of the pain… who knows.

Anyway, pretty measly week training wise and a bit scared also that if this is more serious. It keeps going away always after a few hours so assuming it’s nothing too bad that time won’t heal so I am not heading to a doctor until it REALLY hurts. They would only say rest and do not exercise and I can diagnose that myself. Besides they are busy as it is with covid-19 raving in the world.

So let’s see what total rest will do and how it is after a week of complete rest.

Total

  • Three walks; one 1,8 kilometers, one 4,8 kilometers and one 8,93 kilometers
  • Two circuit training 50 min and 1h 18 min

Training plan

Learn to accompany myself on piano better since I cannot do any strenuous physical exercise 😀

Continue Reading

The Virus – Day 83 – Life is still life

Yep, all good. Life seems to continue normal and you don’t even think about this ”new normal” that much anymore. Teenagers think that this is better because they can wake up 15 minutes before the school starts and preschooler thinks it good because she can be with mommy all day.

Morning circle and crafts through tablet and video chat app

BUT she does get bored, ”has nothing to do” and wants to see her friends. We keep saying we can’t meet friends now and explain why and she has begun to talk about ”can we do it when the virus is not here anymore”. Her birthday is in the beginning of May and I have said that we cannot keep her birthday ”in person” this year, but we need to organize something maybe later, but we have discussed we might keep a virtual get together with friends. Let’s see.

They manage to keep all school classes through internet. For sports they go outside and do something, for piano and singing lesson they do it through tablet pointing at the keyboard or singing to teacher, but other subjects they keep in Teams/Google Classroom/OneNote. Some are with all students, some work is on their own and sometimes also the teacher seems to be in the video chats.

Even the kindergarten keeps video morning circle and crafts twice a week so we got 5 people online in different video chats at the same time in different spaces in the house. Lucky we are in Finland where the internet speed is not the obstacle for this! It’s mostly funny listening everyone babble their own thing, but then again it’s sad that this really is the situation now, how things have changed in just a few months and that you feel safer inside your house than outside in ”fresh” air with other people.

What I miss the most

Easter service streamed

I miss just going out, getting dressed up in something else than just sweatpants. I miss being around people, I miss the city buzz and I most of all I miss singing together especially with our energetic choir Gospel Helsinki. We were supposed to have a Gospel service today and few other performances during Easter, but now there was only a streamed service with three singers and the band. Rest of us were at home listening and singing along, but it’s not the same. Day by day that’s probably the thing I miss the most, singing together.

So I am singing alone and have started to play piano again. Haven’t touched it for a few months, but now have tried to play it almost daily. Mostly accompanying myself singing. I’m no pianist, but it’s fun to practise. I record them also and then to ”criticise” myself both on singing and playing so it’s a learning session too. Car is a good place to practise also as there is nobody to bother you and you can sing-a-long Spotify as loud as you wish. It is especially good for Gospel song practise as it tends to be a bit vocal especially for penetrating soprano voice.

I did do a ”virtual choir” project last weekend where hundreds of singers around Finland joined to sing a song together. We all recorded our part on our own with a back up track and send it to the choir conductor who with his team will then compile a video. It was a lot of fun, good practise on self criticism. We are all looking forward to it being published later next week hopefully. These are all new and exciting things, but they do not replace ”the real thing”.

WFHWK and no training

Virtual choir singing with headset

WFHWK aka Working From Home With Kids is tough and I have it easy! Mine are already older so they do not need that much entertainment. Still I notice that this week has been hard. Both mentally and physically. I am not able to exercise as my leg got worse. I have finally self diagnosed myself with IT band inflammation caused by too much running (doh, who would have thought 46 km in one week is too much being twice as much as normally!). It’s completely my own fault, I was not following how much I was running I just kept going and realized too late it was too much.

I can feel that not being able to get the pressure out by running, or other exercise, I am getting a bit tired and more tense. Hence piano, and singing have been good distraction and relaxation to get my mind of work, cooking and house cleaning for a while.

I have already come to terms that this is what it’s going to be for a long time now. Older kids most likely won’t go to school until August, my youngest won’t be going to kindy until June, we won’t be going to Flanders choir games in July with the choir, our spring concert is not happening and we are lucky if we can go to our summer cottage for Midsummer like we do every year with my parents.

How much longer

It’s hard to say how long this will still last here in Finland. They predict we might be close to the peak, but I don’t want to keep my hopes up. I think it’s better to just not expect anything but just live day by day and be happily surprised if it ends earlier than you thought. We know for sure this stricter confinement is going to last until mid May and large gatherings until end of May, but all that may change. We should be wiser again after Easter and see how things have evolved.

Around the world situations seem to vary and some countries are worse hit than others. Right now I believe also that the best solution is to flatten the curve but I don’t believe we can completely eradicate the virus and we must loosen the restrictions and get back to ”normal” slowly everywhere at some point.

And YES we need to help all countries to mitigate the impact because there is no going back. We are a ”one world” whether we want it or not. Ever since the fist air planes started flying or actually ever since humans started walking from Africa up North we have been travelling from one place to another and mixing up. It’s our nature to explore and be curious.

I don’t think though that travelling will be quite the same anymore and new remote technologies will definitely change the way we work, but we will still move and I’m sure that when we can I will too. I will go and have a coffee at the local market square in the sunshine during my lunch break and just watch people pass by and enjoy the buzz. And then I will walk back to our office in the city centre and continue my work day. Just as before. Or will I?

Take care, be safe, keep calm and avoid people <3


Continue Reading

The Virus – Day 75 – New (different) reality

This new reality is becoming more and more ”normal”. I have gotten used to this waking up and not going anywhere. It’s actually nice not having to hurry anywhere. My 6 yo has been really good with her preschool home work and has begun to understand that mommy works now and mommy has meetings. She often comes and says hi to my meetings and has even met the children of my colleagues. It’s in a way brought both my colleagues and me closer together, but helped my children to understand what I do for work and see that I do actually talk to people and not just ”play with the computer”.’

Live stream training tested

We have also found the wonderful world of online training. Have tried Body combat, Cross training and Core so far. Was supposed to do Yoga again today but then I twisted my leg _again_ and it was so sore I could not do it after all.

I am still not sure what is wrong with it, but it helps when I avoid side movement especially from left to right and seems to get better in time. It was OK already in the evening and was able to do a walk. Anyway great that we have these options. So thankful to every company supporting everyone in their own way to endure this time.

Supporting local businesses

As the situation is getting worse around the world and also here in Finland, it is clear that the economic situation of many companies is bad, really bad. Now is the time to support the local businesses. So we did exactly that today by getting take away home since we can’t go out to dinner at a restaurant like we sometimes do on the weekend.

It feels funny though how eating out has become eating in…

I still watch the news everyday, but notice that there are more news about ”other” things too and I’m not that keen anymore to know what’s going on. I do want to follow, but it’s not that important anymore. I am getting more interested in what new exciting things I might do tomorrow that I never had time to before like studying something maybe.

Big girl (always knew she was)

Our own little reality in our own little bubble has become quite important. Me and my youngest have had so much fun, she’s grown and taken responsibility so much and helped out voluntarily. I know she can, but it’s been a game of asking every time, but now she empties the dishwasher on her own, does her preschool work on her own and just ”let’s me know to check them”.

So this isolation is not all that bad and makes me think what did we need all that hassle for? Why did we need to move everyday from one place to another in such a hurry? What did we need all those little gadgets, widgets and trinkets for?

All we really need is nutrition… oh and toilet paper!! 😉

Take care, be safe, keep calm and avoid people ❤


Continue Reading

The Virus – Day 70 – Another week @ home

I had to go to the shop today a bit further to get some food and my car had a layer of dust on top of it. I started thinking how long has it actually been since I have driven my car. I did not remember. It’s my fifth week working from home and 3rd week working from home with kids. Government just announced today (30th of March) that it will stay like this at least until mid May.

My own safe bubble

It was pretty quiet at the shop and people kept avoiding each other well. We Finns try to keep an arms length away anyway, but now you can see people taking the other aisle or stopping before passing by to keep the distance. At least at the shop where I went you could find anything you possibly need, there is only shortage of hand soap and sanitizer it seems.

It still feels like this is not real, this cannot be happening. Driving home I realized I was actually happy to get home to my own bubble where I know I am fine and forget the reality for a while focusing on something completely different. That is why running is good.

Knee hurting

Unfortunately I have hurt my left knee (too much trail running and running in general so probably ligament inflammation) so I am unable to train or even go for a walk to get distracted. The pain keeps coming and going so have decided to halt exercise completely until it heals because it got worse after I went for a short bike ride and walk with my daughter. No need for doctor as I know he/she would just advise me to rest which I know myself I need to do. Besides they are busy with much more important thing than my knee.

Let’s see how long it takes to heal, but I am in a way happy to take a break, but need to find other ways to pass the time and every now and then get my mind of what is happening. It seems to help. You can concentrate again much better to solve pressing issues at work and help the kids when you are able to momentarily get carried away with something completely different for a while.

It used to be going to the gym, running, choir practise and singing, but all that is now on hold. I think I will start playing the piano again… have not touched it too many times since we moved and at least you can sing along… Let’s see how long the family is willing to listen to that though…

Serious or mild case?

Stories of people that have become immune to Covid-19 and have healed from the virus are very different. Some seem to get it very serious and some milder. They have had very high fever for days and days and some only a bit of cough and aching here and there. It’s scary not knowing which one you might get as it doesn’t seem to make a difference if you are in good shape or not.

Days pass by pretty quickly and there is some sort of routine already. We’ll see, maybe by the end of the week my thoughts will be different.

Take care, be safe, keep calm and avoid people <3

Continue Reading